Just Muck It
Ever been in a crappy situation in life? You are sad, mad, frustrated, heart broken. On a tailspin out of control in one portion of your life. One portion. The other portions are full and great and grand and wonderful! We get to celebrate that. And, that doesn't mean that the Not Awesome portion doesn't affect us.
I was talking to a friend about one of those tonight. I asked permission to share some of the yucky parts in efforts to get it out so that it didn't stay stuck. A core part of my life is currently muddied and gross and heart breaking and disappointing. Sharing with her, the vision of a horse stall popped into my head. One that was a shitty mud pit of stink and slop.
In something so simple as coming across a messy stall, what is the simple solution? We muck it out. We clean it up. We know this in general as a society. If it's dirty,we clean it up. SOOOOOO when parts of life are a shitty pile, what is the solution? Muck it out.
Just Muck it. Oddly, it satisfyingly works with another uck word I know.
Ok. Clean it up.
For me, yes. And no.
Sometimes I don't want to do the work. Sometimes I want someone else to clean it up for me. Sometimes I choose to sit on my throne of garbage and cry.
And, at the end of it all, it still gets to be cleaned out. You can shove it down inside and let it simmer, build, and become toxic. OR, you can do the work and clean it out.
What comes to mind is the movie Inside Out.
For those of you that haven't seen it, I would recommend taking the time to watch it. See what you relate to, see what value or insight it brings to your life and the lives of those around you. If you are not a fan of spoilers, watch the movie and then come back :)
In the movie, we get to experience life inside the mind of a young girl. One of the illustrations of the mind is five different islands that represent core parts of this person.
Each Island has characteristics with traits and themes around the things that make her, herself. Family Island, Friendship Island, Honesty Island, Hockey Island, and Goofball Island.
Take a moment, what Islands would you have?
As the movie progresses, an island collapses based on an experience she has. -Insert whatever portion of your life was impacted by an experience here- It crushed her and crumbled a core part of her.
A piece of her in shambles. The other ones stayed in tact. Shiny, exciting, beautiful as ever.
We have that in life too. We have core parts that ground us in ourselves. Our passions, our values, our beliefs and so on. We have "islands" that can all be magic, sunshine, unicorns all at once and we can have islands that are overcast, rain cloud mud puddles of suck. Sometimes all, sometimes none, sometimes some, sometimes one.
The trick now, is how do you keep one rainy day from drizzling on your other islands. Moreover; how do you keep it from affecting other people. I am not saying to keep it all bottled up inside. It is more of an awareness that there are times when I don't want to be in that circle or it's not appropriate. Most of all, make sure you clean up before you head to another circle. You don't gotta bring the stink with you. We all have muck work to do in our lives. That doesn't mean we need to spread the crap around. If you leave messes hanging about, it only gets more stinky. It is OK to be sad, mad, frustrated, etc. what you are where you are. It is not ok to bring that someplace it was not invited. Would you bring a pile of trash to a birthday party? A flaming bag of poo to a celebration dinner for a friend's new promotion?
Things happen in life.
Forrest Gump status.
Get your big rubber boots on, grab a shovel and let's go to work.
Sometimes you might need some help mucking. You can always ask for someone to listen or invest in a professional. Sometimes you may just need someone to sit on the side and keep you company while you clean it up yourself. Other times, it's just getting into it.
Mucking and clean up is different than dumping. Notice if you are sharing from a place of complaining or if you are sharing to clean up the process in your mind. Asking permission to share something is one of the best ways to shift the mindset from a rant to getting clear and not being stuck in the muck. Not only do you get the freedom to be where you are at and move through it, but you also aren't talking about something the other person doesn't want to deal with or can't handle. Not everyone is going to be able to process with you in all categories.
Who in your life can you ask to support you in certain circles? Who in your life do you enjoy supporting in their clean ups?
Which island(s) could use some polish?
What would be the benefit of getting clean in this area?
Muck it out of your circle. Do the work to pick it up and throw it out. Clean up the muck and rebuild the island. Better yet, consider it an opportunity to remodel. HELLO UPGRADES.
Just Muck it <3 8 )