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  • Writer's pictureconnectioncatalyst

Doing the (Wood) Work Part 2

Updated: Sep 15, 2020

The next phase of this project was the plan. Oh the analogies. And spoiler alert... the plan continues to change.

The cute side of this phase was talking it over with my little brother.

I asked my brilliant brother to talk over the dream I am cooking up. He agrees so as soon as he gets home, I drag him out to the porch and grab one of the Adirondack chairs and drag it to the middle facing South and grab another one facing North. The arm rests are lined up. The sun is setting to the West and we are laughing and enjoying a drink while we talk about the plans I am imagining.

I tell him I am looking for a concept similar to how we are sitting. My idea is to maybe have a bench and the backs facing different directions. He is laughing at me and my crazy ideas and basically helping me as best he can but also you can tell he thinks this is a gigantic project. I am undertaking something that will take a long time and really has very little structure to it. Yes there is a way to solve and create all of it. What it will take is uncertain.

Sound familiar? This feels like a snap shot of relationships. Here is the plan. Here is the fun. Here is the beautiful vision.

And then here is the other person staring at you thinking about how much work this is going to be, how much you are going to have to figure out, and how much time it is going to take.

So I ask more questions, because I am going to do it anyways. I think this will pay off in future relationships :)

The not cute side of this phase as a day a week or so later.

I had rough plans drawn out & still needed to figure out all the measurements. Angles. Math. Thickness. Materials. When and where the wood was getting planed. All that "good" jazz. This project was going to take some preparation. Like a good student, I had it in my mind we would talk it all out and my support system would help me layout the whole process. From our previous conversations I knew it was going to take a long time.

So here I am asking about timeline, process, & math... attempting to chunk it all up... and UNFun fact. My helpers don't operate like that. They didn't really have a systematized plan or answers or necessarily even know how it was going to all come together. They basically said one, we needed more tools to do that much math (a picnic table in the park with a phone wasn't going to cut it when CAD design was one internet connection away),

and two, we really wouldn't know what was next until we got there.

Sound Familiar? Ever thought out a relationship and the way you wanted it to look or the way you wanted a conversation to go and there was really no possible way to break it up into little chunks and build it brick by brick in systematized fashion? This part of me is working on being more patient for future relationships ha ha.

Needless to say, I was frustrated. I wanted to plan everything. Know how it was all going to work, Break it up and get to it. NOPE. It was a see as you go kinda thing. The good that did come out of it was writing my future spouse a "love note" that described in detail what to do with me when I am the kind of grumpy I was that day <3 So it worked out in their favor.

The big picture of this week is we all have the idea of what the "finished" product is going to look like. What the ideal thing we are trying to put together will look like.. and there is no plan. There are steps and part of the process sure. But there is no plan. Or the plan is always changing. How do you act when the unknown of plans are cute? How about when they are not so cute? My challenge to you is to write a note to your significant other as to how they can support you in getting yourself out a grumpy mood in those not so cute moments <3

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Thoughts from a book I am working on. Is the someone you? or someone you know?

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